Thursday, August 7, 2014

Old Orchard Beach, Maine

“There is nothing more beautiful
Than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore,

no matter how many times it is sent away”

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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

"Red Canoe"

Young love sweating in a red canoe
You say, “look at that sky”
But all I see is you
Tan skin pulsing, I think I see your heart
I want to swallow it whole
So we’ll never have to part.

And I’m sure that this is magic
‘Cause it really can’t be real
You’re seeing parts of me I promised
I’d never quite reveal,
But there’s something ‘bout that shimmer
From the sun down to the lake
And I’m thinking back to when I said,
“You were my best mistake.”

Now you’re giving me that same old look,
I’ve seen a billion times before
I’ve memorized your smile, and
I’ve never been so sure.
I laugh, “sometimes the best things
they just can’t be foreseen
You have to let your heart outweigh your head,
You know just what I mean….”

You pause before you answer
You just stare at me so hard
Then you lean right in to kiss me
You love catching me off guard.
You tell me just to listen; you swear these words are true
You say, “No one’s ever loved you girl, the way that I sure do.”

Now we’re back at shore, it’s later now
The onyx sky has lost its blue
My mind’s repeating what you said,
The way you looked in that canoe.
You notice that I’m drifting off,
I think you’re drifting too,
You say “look up at the stars, my love”

But all I see is you.

- a poem written by Holly Amber Wolti

Monday, June 23, 2014

defining security, defining comfort...


It’s in the scent of morning coffee, sitting on your living room couch with your cat curled up in a ball next to you. It’s in the way she knows if you’re sick or tired, or when you just need her warmth.

               It’s the way the clock looks at 5:00pm when you’ve just accomplished a busy day at work.

               It’s in being able to call your best friend and hearing her ask “what’s wrong?” before you can even get past the “Are you busy?”

               It’s in the stories your mother tells you about her childhood home and about your grandparents. They’re stories you’ve certainly heard before, but somehow they mean more each time.

               It’s in the way your father can make you laugh harder than anyone on the planet, and it’s in the feeling you get when you sigh and chuckle to yourself, recognizing that you’re a lot more like him than you thought.

               It’s in meeting new people in your boyfriend’s family and realizing you’re so lucky to be a part of such a down to earth collection of people.

               It’s in the feeling of going broke on pay day, but noticing the weight off your shoulders after your bills have been paid.

               It’s the taste of that first sip of a cold beer on a 80° summer day. It’s also in the reminder that you’re 27 now, and you know you’ll be hung over as hell the next morning, but that you just won’t care because drunken memories and the smell of a bonfire in your hair means you’ve had a perfect night.

               It’s in the way you wrap your body around your boyfriend when you wake up in the middle of the night and realize you still have time to sleep before your alarm goes off.

               It’s the fact that even if you only had 2 minutes to sleep, you’d still wrap your body around his the same way.

               It’s in the way you feel the day your sister calls to tell you she’s coming home to visit, and it’s in the emptiness you feel when she leaves.

               It’s also in knowing your sister has found someone who can love her almost as much as you do for the rest of her life.

               It’s in the pictures on your apartment walls. The constant compliments on your shower curtain. It’s in the way your kitchen always smells like your favorite Yankee Candle. It’s in knowing that you might not be living in a castle, but that you still feel like a queen when you come home to your king every night.

               It’s in this blog, and knowing people are reading it. It’s in the fact that people care enough about my little thoughts. 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

When you are happy...

This is our big chance to see what people think of us. 
The real us. 
We have to show 'em there's nothing to be afraid of. 

I looked at other couples and wondered how they could be so calm about it. 
They held hands as if they weren't even holding hands. 
When he and I hold hands, I have to keep looking down to marvel at it. 
There is my hand, the same hand I've always had - but what is it holding?
 It's holding his hand!
Each day I wonder what happens next. 
What happens when you stop wanting, when you are happy. 
I suppose I will go on being happy forever..."
-Miranda July

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Coming And The Going

"She wondered what it would be like 
to live in a world where it was always June..." 
-LM Montgomery

I feel like it was just yesterday I was fifteen years old, not feeling quite like a child anymore, but certainly not an adult yet either. I vividly remember craving summer nights of cruising around in cars with my friends, windows down, our music blaring through quiet neighborhoods. I yearned for summer nights on the sand, catching a good buzz off some cheap strawberry wine, not worrying about a curfew or having to call my parents. I wanted winter, but only for my birthday, and when that passed, I wanted summer. I wanted it to be summer every single day of my life. I wanted it now.

"Dad, I can't wait to be an adult and take days off from work in June to go on trips and go to the beach and do whatever I want",  I would scream on cold, frustrating nights full of homework and fights with my sister or girlfriends.

"Don't wish your life away", he always said.

Now I'm 27, and it seems like I still wait all year for summer. Every December, even when my brain is decorated with holiday cheer, excitement for family to visit, and anticipation of the first snowfall, I find myself asking people, even strangers, is it summer yet??? They tell me no, but that Christmas is almost here, then comes the new year, and before you know it, summer will fly by and we'll be back here to this spot again. Really? Can't we just live in a world full of morning dew, tan feet, pool days, and endless bonfires? Can't we, can't we?

When June arrived this year, as usual, I took out my calendar, and planned trips and days off from work to do whatever I want. In fact, I'm doing exactly that this Friday to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday. I'm an adult now, I can do that!! It's June, and it's almost officially summer, and I can get tan and stay out all night on the weekends and go to concerts and games and cookouts and everything else. And just other day, driving home from work anxious to beat the traffic and get home early enough, I called my dad. "Dad, I can't wait for Friday. I can't wait for my sunburn to fade. I can't wait for next weekend. I can't wait for the 4th of July, and August, and the whole Summer needs to get here now!! I can't wait!!"

"Don't wish your life away," he said again. "Not while you're young. Time is everything, and you have a lot of it..." And suddenly, I was back in my old house, a fifteen year old girl, confiding in my diary that no one understood me. That I needed a break, that I needed peace. That I needed it to be June when school was over for a couple months.

And with that memory came the bold realization that more than twelve years have passed since those confusing nights when I felt like no one got me. I really wish I could tell my fifteen year old self what I know now. June will come. It always does. And it will leave, but it will come again. 

With my phone wedged between my shoulder and neck, hands clenched on the steering wheel, I felt my throat get dry, a pause in my voice. "I know Dad, thanks for reminding me. You always have the best advice..."

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Let's go to the sea side

When you're at the beach,
everything is different.
Life feels infinite.
Time slows down, with no knowledge of hours.
Morning saltwater heals your skin,
Days are filled with drunken laughter,
and we fall asleep the sound of waves.
Kisses taste sweeter, 
air feels cleaner,
and we plan nothing by schedule,
only by the height of the tide.
And when we leave, a part of us stays,
our secrets drowning to the ocean floor...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Foxiest Detox :: Skinny Fox Detox

As some of you may already know from following my Instagram, I recently collaborated with the lovely ladies at Skinny Fox Detox and began their Signature 28 Day Detox. Now before you get all apprehensive on me, hear me out. This detox does not make you go to the bathroom every 5 minutes, it does not taste bad, and it does not strip your body of necessary nutrients. In fact, it does the opposite of that!

The Skinny Fox Detox consists of two different teas, one you drink every morning for 28 days, and one you drink before bed every other night.  Their “Hello Gorgeous” morning tea is quite tasteful, very smooth, and is made up of strong natural teas and herbs to help boost your metabolism and give you the energy you need to get going for the day. The greatest part? This tea also fights fat accumulation, and come on, everyone everywhere wants something to help fight their fat, and if you have no fat, well then we can’t be friends. Just kidding, we can be friends, but I’m jealous of you.

The evening “Goodbye Cherry Pie" tea  is delicious! In my opinion, I liked the evening tea even better than the morning tea. This tea is blended with a natural but gentle, I repeat gentle laxative (Senna) to help rid your body of unwanted and unnecessary toxins. Don’t worry though, the natural herbs also included in this tea will help to prevent stomach cramping. I didn’t find myself running to the bathroom, I just realized that the tea made going to the bathroom a regular and easy experience. It is a detox after all, and it’s helping you remove all those gross toxins that unknowingly build up in your body.  This tea is made in tea bags that are oxygen whitened, so you don’t have to worry about bleach or other chemicals entering your precious little body.

I was so excited when I got my detox package in the mail. They make it look so cute before you even try it out. I knew right away I was going to enjoy this experience!!

Because the morning tea is a loose leaf tea, not in a teabag, I decided to create my own type of tea bag and used a natural coffee filter, put a spoon full of the tea in the filter, and stapled it together to imitate a teabag. It worked out just fine for me!! 

Keep in mind, when detoxing, it’s important not to introduce new toxins into your body, so you should try your best to try to keep away from excess sugar, meat (which was clearly easy for me since I’m already a vegetarian), excessive alcohol, white pasta, bread, or rice, artificial sweeteners, etc. Everyone slips up here and there, so don’t punish yourself if you do. Just wake up and decide to be healthier the next day! 

Here's a before photo: 

 Here's a during photo: (Don't mind the mess, we were sorting laundry in the background!)

Working out has been a regular part of my lifestyle... but I had taken a couple months off during the Fall months, and I knew I just didn't feel right. I needed to get back into my normal routine, and this detox gave me the perfect excuse to begin being myself again. Throughout my detox with Skinny Fox, I cooked healthy meals and worked out regularly at the gym after work, which is helpful to compliment the effects of the detox. I did forget one or two times to drink the tea in the morning or night, but I’m only human, but I got right back on track as soon as I remembered. No one’s perfect, but the most perfect thing you can do for yourself is to take care of your health, and with summer and beach/bathing suit season coming, why not kick it off with your own detox experience?! I promise, you’ll be coming back to thank me!

I definitely experienced a very noticeable heightened energy level, less bloating, little to no hunger pains, and a very light and clean feeling. 

Here's an after photo taken just two days ago.... I'm quite happy with my results and can't wait to detox again!

If you’re interested but don’t yet want to try it for 28 days, you’re in luck, you can also purchase a 14 day detox to see how it works for you… AND, the best of all? Because you’re my readers and because Skinny Fox believes in your satisfaction, they have given me my own special 10% off code for all my readers to use when they purchase their own detox! Just use the code “FoxyHolly” at check out, and you will receive 10% off your order! Go ahead, check it out!!

Happy Detoxing!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Anticipation of April...

I’ve always had a strange relationship with April. One that both hurts and heals. One that excites me and lets
me down.  It’s a month of perplexity, rainfall, a glimpse of sunbeams, and an eagerness that waits for June.

You see, April is famous for melting away my cool winter days, removing the tense bitterness I see and feel everywhere, but it always leaves me wanting more.  It really brings out the impatience in me. It seems that April is a month of tricks and teases, beginning on its first day, considering it is a month that officially begins with fooling the lighthearted, the most gullible of people… and that is really just what it does to me. April fools me into believing that sunnier, more delicious days are right around the corner, while the clouds then blush and laugh at me, crying buckets of drizzle to rinse those hopes away. It puzzles me how sometimes the rain falls in a graceful pattern, and other times it pounds hard on my heart. How bizarre that the rainfall can both keep me up all night, while other nights, it can soothe me right to slumber. 

It’s alright, I suppose.  As I’ve grown up a bit, I’ve learned that April is a month of lessons. It teaches me to wait for what I want, while not forgetting about where I am and what it takes to get there. It gives me a taste of what’s to come, and it reminds me to hold on for sweeter days ahead. It reminds me that it's okay to just dance in it's glimmer. April is really just the beginning of a beautiful ride, and if I can just hold on through the rain, I’ve made it through the uphill climb. 

So April, here’s to you.

Monday, March 10, 2014

My inspiration...

I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet.....

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, 
how I'd been living, 
they asked me why - 
but there's no use in talking to people who have a home.
They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people - 
for home to be wherever you lay your head.

.......Don't leave me now
Don't say good bye
Don't turn around
Leave me high and dry.

Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.
I believe in the country America used to be.
I believe in the person I want to become.
I believe in the freedom of the open road.
And my motto is the same as ever:

"I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself I ride, 
I just ride."

Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?
I have. I am crazy.
But I am free.

Lana Del Rey

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

"You did"

"You did"

I’ve risked the flames, I’ve cried the rain
Watched your heart bleed, broke through your chains,
I’ve held you close, pushed you away
Just longing to hear you say you’d stay,
And you did.

Like a winter’s night, I tore through your skin
Sewed you up, to rip through again,
Made you show me who you really are
Made you tell me about all your scars,
And you did.

But you were getting close, so I ran fast
I thought a love this rich could never last,
How could someone want my vagrant soul,
Like a wild angel, soaring out of control,
But you did.

You threw the bricks right through my walls
You carved, and cut, fought through them all,
You stole my heart, you cleaned me up
You showed me I was worth your love,
Yes, you did.

You kissed my eyes, you touched my hair
You agreed with me that life’s not fair,
You said “if we have each other, that’s all we need”
So you took my hand, you took the lead,
You did.

Now here I am, I wonder why
I played those games, I made you cry,
Cause I’ve never known a love so strong
I know it now, I knew it all along…

And I lay in bed, I stare at your face
Your skin, your breath, my saving grace,
“Don’t ever leave”, I cry in your ear
Begging God, those words you’d hear

And you did.

Holly A. Wolti
Poem Copyright © 2014 by Holly A. Wolti

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Most Stylish Jewelry. The Most Stylish Girls.

People sing because they were born with the gift to. Some paint. Some dance. I write.

Some girls design clothes. Some guys design cars. Maybe some girls design cars and guys men design clothes, but my point is.... when you find something that you love doing, that comes so naturally to you, then you should do it. Do it in color, do it in different shapes, do it in different tones. If you can write songs that I sing along to, then I want to be your friend. If you can knit me a scarf that I want to wear with every outfit, then I want you to make me two. If you can make jewelry like Nicole and Aubrey Goulet, then I'd like like to take the time to dedicate this blog post to your talent and tell you how jealous I am of not only your pure skill, but of your patience, creativity, and eye for fashion. Two Stylish Sisters, this one goes out to you.

I recently had the honor of collaborating with two of Chelmsford's coolest girls. To me, being cool means being unique. Being authentic, being real. Having a passion and putting that passion into something tangible is something to be proud of. I think that's the coolest thing a person can do. And over an iced mocha at a little coffee shop in town, I got to hang with two pretty cool girls. The three of us sorted through some of the neatest jewelry I have ever seen, and then I went home and did some of my favorite things... I tried on a bunch of different clothes, changed my makeup a dozen times, and posed while my boyfriend took photos of me. Naturally, I took some selfies too...

As I was trying each piece on, picking out my favorites, and marveling over the different styles, I was thinking about which one I wanted to have my boyfriend buy me for Valentine's Day. I was also thinking about what outfits I could pair with each necklace, and how they would look on all my girlfriends. I started realizing that home made jewelry at such a reasonable price (everything you'll see here is under $35.00 by the way) is such a perfect gift...especially at this time of the month with the most romantic holiday of the year coming up! Plus a lot of girls like to be different, they like to stand out... I mean, who wants to blend in with the crowd and have the same open heart necklace or Michael Kors bracelet that every other girl on the block is wearing? They want something special, something that two beautifully brilliant sisters put their own brain power into crafting with their very own two hands. Michael Kors jewelry is cool, don't get me wrong, but I would much rather have something more rare.

I'd much rather wear something like this.

And these.

And you can easily have any of these pieces too, or maybe something that catches your attention even more so by simply clicking here. Or, you can go on Facebook and follow these two awesome girls here. While you're at it, head over to their Pinterest page and check out some more of their clever styles! Oh, and did I mention jewelry making is not the only skill Two Stylish Sisters have? They also make clothes and home decor as well, but I don't want to spoil it for you... Get yourselves on over to their website now, or better yet, have someone else go on the website for you, and let them buy you your favorite piece as the perfect Valentine's Day gift!

You can thank me later.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It's All Better Now

I said, "love don't mean nothing,
unless there's something
worth fighting for,
it's a beautiful war."

Friday, January 10, 2014

Peace is....

Being gentle with yourself;

being gentle with others;

forgiving people;

forgiving yourself.

Peace is making painful choices but trusting the outcome;

not allowing others to control your emotions;

smiling at a stranger;

sleeping through the night.

Peace is shedding guilt;

laughing at yourself;

crying tears of any kind, and letting it all out;

picking yourself up off the floor.

Peace is never living at war with yourself.

Peace is realizing what people think of you is none of your business.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Poem for Tuesday...

Red Lipstick at a Vintage Bar

In borrowed heels, her Mama’s dress
She walks to the bar alone,
One last spray of cheap perfume
Trickles down her collar bone…

Walks up the stairs, into the room
And she always looks the same,
Her hands clenched behind her skinny back
Her troubled little frame…

Well no one said her life was easy,
But they’ve never stopped to ask
Where is it she comes from?
Is she ever going back?

Red lipstick on her restless smile, and
You can see it in her wrists,
Pulsing faster as she finds him
Drinking whiskey with a twist….

He’s tried before to save her,
To mend her injured heart,
Still he swears he’ll never quite give up,
You know he’s loved her from the start…

Her hidden scars that no one sees,
Warm blood that no one feels,
He knows her soul’s gorgeous mess,
He knows her pain is real…

Fastened eyes across the room
The band plays a tune so blue,
With shivered lips she mouths the words,
 “Boy, this song was made for me and you…”

Her fingers start to tremble now
And she reaches for his hands,
She prays that he won’t let her down,
For this is her first dance…

She’d never trust a man before
Enough to hold her in his arms,
But something in his deep green eyes
Ignites a vicious charm….

He spins and twirls and lifts her up
He knows she’s his for sure,
But something stops, she pulls away
And she rushes to the door…

Well no one said her life was easy
but they never stop to ask,
Where is it she’s going to?
Is she ever coming back?

-Holly Amber Wolti

Thursday, January 2, 2014

On change....

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, literally just twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery….

I haven’t written here in a while…. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to, and it’s certainly not because I haven’t had the words to say, but it’s because I’ve been doing a lot of my writing in private. I tend to think that even though a lot of my life is an open book that I’m so eager to share, some pieces need to be held closely for a while, like a balloon string in my tightly clenched fist, until I’m ready to let it go and let the world own it, view it, and talk about it. But oftentimes, the fear of letting it go is what holds people back.

I’m learning to understand this, though…figuring out how to be more accepting of opinions, judgment, everything else the world will do with your life, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. But why?  Is change as terrifying as we all think it is? Is it something that covers us, shields us, and prevents our hearts from taking a chance, our pens from writing the truth, our songs from being heard? Or is change the finest thing that could ever happen? Is it the most liberating sensation when you feel the weight lifted, the shift of one emotion to the next? Is change most electrifying when it opens the door to new light, new colors, new people and a whole new world? Is it ok for your hands to shake when you flip the page to the next chapter of your life? Or is change something that stirs your whole body up, leaving you confused, scared, and afraid to show the world the new you? My answer is this….. Who honestly cares? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if you don’t have everyone’s approval? No. All that matters is that you approve of yourself, and whether or not you are ready to change is up to you. If you want to let your heart bleed out, leaving bright red drops as you walk daringly into your new life, then you should.  

Every now and then, you just need to be fearless enough to make that decision, and right now, I’m so thankful for my brave heart.

And I promise you, something great will come of it”