Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Anticipation of April...

I’ve always had a strange relationship with April. One that both hurts and heals. One that excites me and lets
me down.  It’s a month of perplexity, rainfall, a glimpse of sunbeams, and an eagerness that waits for June.

You see, April is famous for melting away my cool winter days, removing the tense bitterness I see and feel everywhere, but it always leaves me wanting more.  It really brings out the impatience in me. It seems that April is a month of tricks and teases, beginning on its first day, considering it is a month that officially begins with fooling the lighthearted, the most gullible of people… and that is really just what it does to me. April fools me into believing that sunnier, more delicious days are right around the corner, while the clouds then blush and laugh at me, crying buckets of drizzle to rinse those hopes away. It puzzles me how sometimes the rain falls in a graceful pattern, and other times it pounds hard on my heart. How bizarre that the rainfall can both keep me up all night, while other nights, it can soothe me right to slumber. 

It’s alright, I suppose.  As I’ve grown up a bit, I’ve learned that April is a month of lessons. It teaches me to wait for what I want, while not forgetting about where I am and what it takes to get there. It gives me a taste of what’s to come, and it reminds me to hold on for sweeter days ahead. It reminds me that it's okay to just dance in it's glimmer. April is really just the beginning of a beautiful ride, and if I can just hold on through the rain, I’ve made it through the uphill climb. 

So April, here’s to you.

Monday, March 10, 2014

My inspiration...

I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet.....

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, 
how I'd been living, 
they asked me why - 
but there's no use in talking to people who have a home.
They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people - 
for home to be wherever you lay your head.

.......Don't leave me now
Don't say good bye
Don't turn around
Leave me high and dry.

Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.
I believe in the country America used to be.
I believe in the person I want to become.
I believe in the freedom of the open road.
And my motto is the same as ever:

"I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself I ride, 
I just ride."

Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?
I have. I am crazy.
But I am free.

Lana Del Rey

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

"You did"

"You did"

I’ve risked the flames, I’ve cried the rain
Watched your heart bleed, broke through your chains,
I’ve held you close, pushed you away
Just longing to hear you say you’d stay,
And you did.

Like a winter’s night, I tore through your skin
Sewed you up, to rip through again,
Made you show me who you really are
Made you tell me about all your scars,
And you did.

But you were getting close, so I ran fast
I thought a love this rich could never last,
How could someone want my vagrant soul,
Like a wild angel, soaring out of control,
But you did.

You threw the bricks right through my walls
You carved, and cut, fought through them all,
You stole my heart, you cleaned me up
You showed me I was worth your love,
Yes, you did.

You kissed my eyes, you touched my hair
You agreed with me that life’s not fair,
You said “if we have each other, that’s all we need”
So you took my hand, you took the lead,
You did.

Now here I am, I wonder why
I played those games, I made you cry,
Cause I’ve never known a love so strong
I know it now, I knew it all along…

And I lay in bed, I stare at your face
Your skin, your breath, my saving grace,
“Don’t ever leave”, I cry in your ear
Begging God, those words you’d hear

And you did.

Holly A. Wolti
Poem Copyright © 2014 by Holly A. Wolti

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Most Stylish Jewelry. The Most Stylish Girls.

People sing because they were born with the gift to. Some paint. Some dance. I write.

Some girls design clothes. Some guys design cars. Maybe some girls design cars and guys men design clothes, but my point is.... when you find something that you love doing, that comes so naturally to you, then you should do it. Do it in color, do it in different shapes, do it in different tones. If you can write songs that I sing along to, then I want to be your friend. If you can knit me a scarf that I want to wear with every outfit, then I want you to make me two. If you can make jewelry like Nicole and Aubrey Goulet, then I'd like like to take the time to dedicate this blog post to your talent and tell you how jealous I am of not only your pure skill, but of your patience, creativity, and eye for fashion. Two Stylish Sisters, this one goes out to you.

I recently had the honor of collaborating with two of Chelmsford's coolest girls. To me, being cool means being unique. Being authentic, being real. Having a passion and putting that passion into something tangible is something to be proud of. I think that's the coolest thing a person can do. And over an iced mocha at a little coffee shop in town, I got to hang with two pretty cool girls. The three of us sorted through some of the neatest jewelry I have ever seen, and then I went home and did some of my favorite things... I tried on a bunch of different clothes, changed my makeup a dozen times, and posed while my boyfriend took photos of me. Naturally, I took some selfies too...

As I was trying each piece on, picking out my favorites, and marveling over the different styles, I was thinking about which one I wanted to have my boyfriend buy me for Valentine's Day. I was also thinking about what outfits I could pair with each necklace, and how they would look on all my girlfriends. I started realizing that home made jewelry at such a reasonable price (everything you'll see here is under $35.00 by the way) is such a perfect gift...especially at this time of the month with the most romantic holiday of the year coming up! Plus a lot of girls like to be different, they like to stand out... I mean, who wants to blend in with the crowd and have the same open heart necklace or Michael Kors bracelet that every other girl on the block is wearing? They want something special, something that two beautifully brilliant sisters put their own brain power into crafting with their very own two hands. Michael Kors jewelry is cool, don't get me wrong, but I would much rather have something more rare.

I'd much rather wear something like this.

And these.

And you can easily have any of these pieces too, or maybe something that catches your attention even more so by simply clicking here. Or, you can go on Facebook and follow these two awesome girls here. While you're at it, head over to their Pinterest page and check out some more of their clever styles! Oh, and did I mention jewelry making is not the only skill Two Stylish Sisters have? They also make clothes and home decor as well, but I don't want to spoil it for you... Get yourselves on over to their website now, or better yet, have someone else go on the website for you, and let them buy you your favorite piece as the perfect Valentine's Day gift!

You can thank me later.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It's All Better Now

I said, "love don't mean nothing,
unless there's something
worth fighting for,
it's a beautiful war."

Friday, January 10, 2014

Peace is....

Being gentle with yourself;

being gentle with others;

forgiving people;

forgiving yourself.

Peace is making painful choices but trusting the outcome;

not allowing others to control your emotions;

smiling at a stranger;

sleeping through the night.

Peace is shedding guilt;

laughing at yourself;

crying tears of any kind, and letting it all out;

picking yourself up off the floor.

Peace is never living at war with yourself.

Peace is realizing what people think of you is none of your business.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Poem for Tuesday...

Red Lipstick at a Vintage Bar

In borrowed heels, her Mama’s dress
She walks to the bar alone,
One last spray of cheap perfume
Trickles down her collar bone…

Walks up the stairs, into the room
And she always looks the same,
Her hands clenched behind her skinny back
Her troubled little frame…

Well no one said her life was easy,
But they’ve never stopped to ask
Where is it she comes from?
Is she ever going back?

Red lipstick on her restless smile, and
You can see it in her wrists,
Pulsing faster as she finds him
Drinking whiskey with a twist….

He’s tried before to save her,
To mend her injured heart,
Still he swears he’ll never quite give up,
You know he’s loved her from the start…

Her hidden scars that no one sees,
Warm blood that no one feels,
He knows her soul’s gorgeous mess,
He knows her pain is real…

Fastened eyes across the room
The band plays a tune so blue,
With shivered lips she mouths the words,
 “Boy, this song was made for me and you…”

Her fingers start to tremble now
And she reaches for his hands,
She prays that he won’t let her down,
For this is her first dance…

She’d never trust a man before
Enough to hold her in his arms,
But something in his deep green eyes
Ignites a vicious charm….

He spins and twirls and lifts her up
He knows she’s his for sure,
But something stops, she pulls away
And she rushes to the door…

Well no one said her life was easy
but they never stop to ask,
Where is it she’s going to?
Is she ever coming back?

-Holly Amber Wolti

Thursday, January 2, 2014

On change....

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, literally just twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery….

I haven’t written here in a while…. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to, and it’s certainly not because I haven’t had the words to say, but it’s because I’ve been doing a lot of my writing in private. I tend to think that even though a lot of my life is an open book that I’m so eager to share, some pieces need to be held closely for a while, like a balloon string in my tightly clenched fist, until I’m ready to let it go and let the world own it, view it, and talk about it. But oftentimes, the fear of letting it go is what holds people back.

I’m learning to understand this, though…figuring out how to be more accepting of opinions, judgment, everything else the world will do with your life, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. But why?  Is change as terrifying as we all think it is? Is it something that covers us, shields us, and prevents our hearts from taking a chance, our pens from writing the truth, our songs from being heard? Or is change the finest thing that could ever happen? Is it the most liberating sensation when you feel the weight lifted, the shift of one emotion to the next? Is change most electrifying when it opens the door to new light, new colors, new people and a whole new world? Is it ok for your hands to shake when you flip the page to the next chapter of your life? Or is change something that stirs your whole body up, leaving you confused, scared, and afraid to show the world the new you? My answer is this….. Who honestly cares? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if you don’t have everyone’s approval? No. All that matters is that you approve of yourself, and whether or not you are ready to change is up to you. If you want to let your heart bleed out, leaving bright red drops as you walk daringly into your new life, then you should.  

Every now and then, you just need to be fearless enough to make that decision, and right now, I’m so thankful for my brave heart.

And I promise you, something great will come of it”

Monday, December 9, 2013

Sorry for the time away from writing....

Stop thinking so much.

Take some time to figure out what’s important to you.
Step outside, look at your surroundings.

Get some air.
Remind yourself of who you are, why you're here,

And who you want to be.
Let people make you laugh.
Let people love you.
Don’t try to live up to anyone’s expectations.
Be yourself, and be okay with it.
Let go of what you can’t control,
Thank your past for its lessons,
Look to the future with open arms.
And always, always, always have faith in your own heart.

Friday, November 22, 2013

A Thought for Friday

“Listen to the people who love you. 
Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. 
Seek out the memories... and project them into the future. 
Be brave; 
be strong; 
take your pills. 
Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. 
Eat when food itself disgusts you. 
Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.”

Friday, October 25, 2013

Today I believe...

…That it’s important to find something to always look forward to.
…That it’s a bittersweet sight to watch the October leaves falling down right in front of you. It’s almost like they've given up for the year, that they no longer have the strength to hold on, but as they slowly dance their way off the trees, you somehow know they’re okay with it. It’s comforting to know that sometimes beauty only lasts for a short while. 
…That Boston really is the best city for sports, and if you’re not a fan at all but curious about the score of the game, just go on Facebook and I’m sure 60 people will fill you in.

…That there’s really nothing more refreshing than taking a pen to a paper with endless opportunities to write your thoughts, your dreams, your fears, and to then close the book and never speak of those thoughts again if you don’t want to. You got them off your chest, and you gave life to the empty sheet of paper. Let go and let God handle the rest.
…That when someone says they love you, take what they say, appreciate their courage to say it, hold onto their words, but don’t swallow it yet. Actions speak much louder than words, and if someone really loves you, they will love all of you, every part of you, they won’t ever give up when things get tough, and they will prove it.
…That I would much rather mingle with a regular crowd full of regular, honest people who have inspiring stories to tell, people who have familiarity with real life experiences, people who might not have everything, but can give you the best advice you’ve ever heard. These are the people worth listening to.

... That it's important to never let go of the people who touch your heart. They're there for a reason. You met them for a reason: either to change their life, or for them to change yours. 
…That older people might drive slower, might speak slower, might even aggravate you at times, but these people have seen far more than you have. They know the world just a little bit better than you do. Give them a break, let them take their time. Someday, you’ll be just like them.
… That animals give you a special love that you can’t get anywhere else.

…That there’s a certain thrill I can only feel from seeing the Nashville skyline, and that I am so lucky that it will be in my view in just about 12 hours, surrounded by the people who love me most...
…That I need this blog way more than it needs me.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

On Being Yourself...

It was Autumn, and I was a sophomore in college, living at UMass Lowell. I had homework to do, sorority projects to work on, friends to see, and beers to drink. But I’m over 18 now, I can do whatever I want, I’m a grownup, I thought. So I did what most new adults do when they have all the freedom they ever dreamed of right in the palm of their hand: I proved my age to the world.

I had my boyfriend at the time take me to get my first tattoo, and I sat through the pain like it was nothing more than a mere tickle, because adults don’t cry, I reminded myself. After the tattoo was finished and I paid the $90.00 I had been saving, we drove to my parents' house where I showed off my newfound rebellion in the form of a black Pisces sign on my left hip. “Mom, Dad, look what I did. Isn’t it great?” Surprisingly, they liked it. I didn’t know what to think. Was I secretly hoping they’d be disappointed, so I could come back with some strategic tale about how I’m old enough and can make my own decisions? Or was I happy with the fact that I just realized I had the coolest parents in the world? I couldn’t decide, but over the next four years, I got four more tattoos and proved to the world that I was myself, dressed proudly in my new ink, each tattoo symbolizing a different piece of my life.

It was Autumn again, except this time I was 26 driving home from my full-time corporate job, feeling much more like an adult than I did when I sat in that first tattoo parlor.  I picked up my cell phone, knowing I shouldn’t be using it while driving, but I can do whatever I want, I’m a grownup, I thought.

“Dad, I really want to get a new tattoo”, I boasted, thinking I’d hear “honey, you already have five, isn’t that enough?” in his typical I know you’re 26, but I’m still your father and have been around the block type of tone. And within the three seconds it took him to respond, I didn’t have time to plan out an emblematic-Holly-fashioned comeback. “Well that’s cool, sweetheart. Whatever you think is best. You’re an adult, and your mother and I know you make wise choices. However you want to express yourself is fine with us.” What?
I guess when I was a teenager, I never noticed how lucky I was. Taking the time to appreciate the freedom my parents gave me wasn’t something I really noticed, or held above other lessons they taught. But I’m a grown up now, I’m thinking, as I sit here and type this, and I have a little more experience under my belt. I can now reflect on the best lesson my parents ever taught me, even if it took hundreds of needles and permanent ink on my skin (which I will never regret) for me to learn.
So here’s a promise I can make to keep : people will always judge you. They might judge the way you dress, they might judge the friends you keep, they might judge if you’ve had one too many beers on a work night, have too much ink on your skin, or have made decisions they can’t even begin to understand.
But here’s another promise I can keep : what they think of you really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Your life is your own unique fortress to build, to break, to mess up and to live as chaotically and as colorfully as you want to. It’s your decision if you want to race through this voyage as rapidly as you can, or trail along unhurried, counting stars and grains of sand. If you want to focus on every breath you take, or want to pretend you’re not breathing at all, then do it. If you want to tattoo a f*cking novel on your skin, don’t let anybody stop you.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Today, I believe....

...that the skyline of Boston is a sight I’ll always be thrilled to see, with a drive consisting of thirty minutes, jagged streets, busy lives, and so many possibilities,

 … but that Nashville is still my favorite city.
... that every once in a while, it’s okay to turn off my cell phone and re-connect with myself.
... that I can relate to so many songs on the radio and sometimes find myself saying out loud, “this must have been written for me”.
... that my gut feeling is always right.
... that there’s something insanely breathtaking about the chill of Autumn mornings.
... that one of the most difficult lessons is to learn the balance between comfort and risk.
... that road trips  with no destination, next to the right person, hearing songs with captivating lyrics, is a perfect way to use all your gas.
... that my parents really know a lot about life.
… that I should use my singing voice to my advantage and perform in public places.
… that tattoos are beautiful expressions of yourself, and you don’t need to listen to people who tell you they’re a huge mistake.
… that everyone you meet is dealing with their own problems, so try to take it easy on them.
… that Sam Adams’ Octoberfest is probably the best beer ever created.
…that my dream will always be to write for a newspaper or magazine, live in a high rise apartment in NYC with a view of the bright lights, and go for coffee meetings while wearing high heels on busy city streets, and meet friends for drinks at wine and vodka bars.
… that it’s okay to have these types of dreams.
… that sisters are the best gift you could ever receive.
… And that sometimes --- maybe all the time --- I need to let go, and let God.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Hopeful Girl

Hopeful Girl
I don’t care what it takes, 
I’d like a faultless world,
They say that can’t exist
And I’m just a “hopeful girl”
But hopeful girls, they’ve seen the most
Their hearts have felt real pain, and
They’re the ones who sing the loudest
Under pouring acid rains
But I don’t care how much it burns,
I’m gonna dance on every star
I want to swallow up their fire, and
Let their flames engrave a scar
They used to seem so small, I laugh
Each tiny blazing tear, but
Now a million specks of glowing light
Are dripping starlight in my hair 
This is where I’ll live, I think
To the constellations, I’ll exclaim,
“I’ll never judge a stranger”
‘Cause up here, we shine the same… 
See, the Earth just seems too shallow now
For hopeful girls like me, and
I’d rather bathe in waves of bright red freedom
Than in a superficial sea.
Holly A. Wolti 9/13/13